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When we speak about pain, we often think first of the body: a cut finger, a broken leg or an aching joint. But pain also comes when someone we love dies, a relationship ends, or a pet is lost. There may be no visible wound, yet the suffering is real.

Neuroscientist Naomi Eisenberger writes that rejection, exclusion and loss are often described as “painful”. Her research suggests that social pain relies on some of the same biological systems involved in physical pain. This may help explain why we speak of “hurt feelings” and a “broken heart”.

Unseen pain is easy to underestimate. We may expect someone to recover quickly because there is no bandage, scan or cast to show what happened. However, grief, rejection and loneliness can affect sleep, concentration, relationships and everyday life.

We do not need to measure another person’s suffering against our own. A better question is, “What does this pain mean to them?” Compassion begins when we stop demanding proof and start making room for another person’s experience.